ayeleesh: when you see your reflection on your laptop screen and you just look
fakeyouout: “money doesn’t buy happiness” let me test this hypothesis
sext: fist me like u tryna get the last couple pringles
wiitangclan: wiitangclan: the best way to a girls heart is punching through the ribcage apparently this is illegal but dont let it stop you
yourendorphine: homophobic participating countries who didn’t show the gay kiss on eurovision must pay a fine because eurovision must be shown from beginning to end without cutting anything out and they are banned from eurovision for the next three years i am crying right now i love you europe
shsl-chef: a-felicia-named-goat: shsl-chef: when u Mom com home and make hte spagheti what is this even supposed to mean thats what i do when me Mom com home and make hte spagheti
sherlocksmyth: sherlocksmyth: one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in...
do you ever just watch the first episode of your favorite show again and look at how plain and simple everyone is before character development sets in and terrible shit starts happening to everyone
davejadetier: BEE SEX IS REALLY FUNNY OKAY HEAR ME OUT BASICALLY THE MALE BEE GOES TO THE QUEEN AND INSERTS ITS PENIS INTO THE QUEEN BEE AND THEN THEY EJACULATE AT SUCH A HIGH SPEED THAT THEY GENITALS FUCKING EXPLODE AND ARE LEFT IN THE QUEEN FOREVER AND THE MALE BEE FALLS ON THE GROUND AND DIES
thepensivebrony: “you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you” finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
somebodyl0vesyouxox: babyminaj: every time i see someone reblog this i lose so much respect for myself omfg god bless
sextingllamas: is it just me or is talking to your hairdresser the most uncomfortable thing in the world
Maybe if your dick was thicker than your goddamn eyebrows we wouldn’t be having...– Gay couple arguing outside Walmart (via dacelio)
Expectations: Using the person next to you as a pillow.
Reality: Using the pillow next to you as a person.
notflavio: mishawinsexster: behold a collection of the ugliest shoes ever what the hell did i log onto
gcoky: mulinlust: gcoky: fun prank: get a job working at a bakery and powder the doughnuts with cocaine instead of powdered sugar fun prank more like how to ruin somebodies life i said it was fun not ethical
I hate my friends
iwillmindfuckyou: lunaticphan: So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut. Cry your friends are keepers
mobble: my friend and i found some temple run fanfiction yesterday
dangermat: when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide bananas commit murder suicide